Leadership is influence, nothing more, nothing less.

When a man and a woman like each other from afar, women expect the man to make the first move. They want the man to LEAD them into conversation and influence them to go with them by leading them into a comfort zone in order to vibe and flow. A woman would have taken care of her appearance knowing that men respond to what they see. After taking care of her appearance all she feels she needs to do is position herself to be led.

There are some women claiming that they are Independent and they don’t need a man. Although this may be true, these women have to realise that when they fall in love with a man, it is the leadership that they fall in love with. So when a man shows leadership its more than likely that they will fall in love with him anyways (no matter how independent they claim to be). If the leadership quality is not there in a relationship then problems may arise. A woman wants to be led by a man and a man wants to be able to try. In both cases there has to be respect or theres no point going through the process. Respect allows a man and woman not to cross the lines.

A man feels more at ease with himself when he leads because he is exercising his primary nature of being a man and that is being the head of the relationship. Let’s examine the head a minute; on the head the eyes are used for direction (to see where you are going) and to see and avoid danger. This does not qualify the man as the leader, afterall women have eyes to but by nature a man exercises LOGIC first before his emotions. By nature a woman is EMOTIONAL first before she reaches logic.

It is the logical nature that qualifies the man to take leadership in the relationship. Logic is an element that enables anybody to assess a situation from different view points. Emotions are used to express how a person feels about a situation. Emotions can be unstable and therefore lead to confusion. Men and women have both logic and emotion but they have one more than the other FIRST.

Being that the man is a logical creature, presumably he will be able to assess a situation more quickly. Because men are logical creatures it is logical that a man be the HEAD in a relationship. In a relationship his logic will allow him to be able to change direction more quickly and it will allow him to avoid danger more quickly. If a man must take a stand in terms of danger then he uses his strength to protect or defend himself and his family. I am not saying that women can’t change direction or avoid danger, I’m merely saying it seems that they are not faster at doing it than a man because of their emotional nature.

A woman is the HEART of a relationship. Her role is to manage everything else as the man leads. In order to accept her roles and allow her man to lead she must SUBMIT. Submission does not mean dominance,sacrifice or lost of individuality, it merely means security and confidence in allowing her man to execute his roles without her having to worry that he can’t do it. Her role is to manage and she shouldn’t have to worry about leading to, all she needs to do is supply.

A woman loses respect for a man (head) who tries to follow her (the heart) because when a man follows her he gives up his role to her. When a man gives up his role to a woman she is ‘forced’ to lead. Now not only does she have her roles to take care of but now she has this additional role because the man has shown that he can’t ‘handle’ his role, all because he claims he is in love. Being in love doesn’t mean you stop fufilling your duty as a man. When a man stops performing his duty or roles he loses the respect of everybody not just the woman’s respect.

So in order for the woman to submit she will put a man through tests. She will test his quality as a leader and as a man. Her emotions tells her that she has to, her emotions tells her that she needs to. In the scriptures it was Queen Sheba of Salem that came to Solomon to ask (test) him questions upon questions for him to answer. He answered them all. This then followed with her complimenting him and showering him with praise. Note that she had already seen his palace, she already heard of his riches & wealth and she already knew he was king but when Solomon PROVED himself as a leader (a king) she was convinced that all he had was truly well deserved. At this point I truly believe that if Solomon had ask for her hand in marriage, she would have accepted. Solomon had 700 wives and 300 concubines (women just for sex) this is evident that women respond to leadership.

In order for a woman to submit a man must prove and show that he is a GOOD LEADER and he must be able to CAST A GOOD VISION for her to follow. This doesn’t mean flossing, bragging, making ’empty’ promises and putting on outlandish displays to impress her. To prove leadership a man has to be able to show it.


In proving leadership a man has to be able to say NO to his woman. Saying no sometimes is for the good of keeping resources and maintaining the right direction. As the Head he will need the support of his woman (the heart of the relationship-his supplement) but he must not follow her. He must hear her out, listen to her advice and assess everything she says because she is management (she is good at multitasking). Her multitasking abilities allows her to see things that her man normally wouldn’t. A man does himself right to listen to his woman and assess what she has to say.

Through his assessment if a man is to say no he has to express himself to his woman for her to see his logic. It is the communication working together that will allow them to both work as a team in order to get things done. The love provides the willingness to do so. The respect allows them to want to do it well.

A leader has to be TACTFUL when dealing with his woman. Been tactful keeps the woman’s emotions under ‘control’. Just because she has submitted to the man does not mean that the man has to act or treat her like submission is what she is suppose to do (remember that a woman submits when a man has proved himself worthy of submission). If a man expect submission without proving himself worthy of it, his woman may end up losing respect for him. When a man says no he has no right to say it anyhow. Granted the man may get angry at times but it is best for the man to express his apologises (emotions) to show that he didn’t mean to say what he did or do what he did (this is hard because men are logical creatures not emotional ones).

Tactfulness makes all the difference between a woman wanting to do something for the man and being resentful while doing it. For example a man (leader) who is not tactful with his woman may have food but a man (leader) who is tactful to his woman WILL always have SOUL food (she will put her heart into the cooking because she wants to make sure that her man is feed right).

Books by John C Maxwells best describes the laws that a leader must follow in order to be followed. Another book by John C Maxwell best describes the qualities that a leader must have in order to be recognised as a leader.

The Laws of Leaderships are described in his book ‘The 21 Irrefutable Laws Of Leadership-Follow Them and People Will Follow You’. Working on these Laws will allow people (not just women) to follow you. The Laws are as follows:

1) The Law of the Lid
2) The Law of Influence
3) The Law of Process
4) The Law of Navigation
5) The Law of E.F. Hutton
6) The Law of Solid Ground
7) The Law of Respect
8) The Law of Instuition
9) The Law of Magnetism
10) The Law of Connection
11) The Law of the Inner Circle
12) The Law of Empowerment
13) The Law of Reproduction
14) The Law of Buy-In
15) The Law of Victory
16) The Law of the Big Mo
17) The Law of Priorities
18) The Law of Sacrifice
19) The Law of Timing
20) The Law of Explosive Growth
21) The Law of Legacy

The Qualities of Leadership are best described in John C Maxwell’s book ‘The 21 Indispensable Qualities Of A Leader- Becoming the person Others will Want to Follow’. Having these qualities will make you recognised as a leader to be followed. The qualities are as follows.

1) Character
2) Charisma
3) Commitment
4) Communication
5) Competence
6) Courage
7) Discernment
8) Focus
9) Generosity
13)Positive Attitude
14)Problem Solving

When a man works on these characteristics he becomes a leader. When a leader leads and continues to exercise these characteristics he will always be followed.


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s