Whether we are in our teens, twenties, thirties, forties, fifties, and above, knowing how to approach and feeling comfortable about it, is a process we try to master especially when we see someone we like or are getting to know.
So, it is worth examining the LOGIC of an approach. Forget opinions, but focus on logic and reasoning. Through logic the sensibility of how to approach can be derived.
Okay, let’s get logical!
It is true that nervousness stops a lot of people from approaching who they like due to the unknown that creates tension. The tension comes with fear and fear can be paralysing and so the logic here would be to remove tension. To remove it, means getting comfortable in approaching and not caring what the outcome may be.
To get comfortable in approaching, a man has to approach, therefore logic states that he shouldn’t put so much pressure on himself. The best way to ease the tension and create no pressure, is to approach for different reasons other than trying to get to know her. Logic here shows that he needs practice, and like with every activity, he will improve.
One such suggestion for practicing approaching, is for a man to approach ten women he finds appealing just to ask for directions or to ask where they got an item on their clothing. Logic states that by continually doing this, he will eventually feel more relaxed to talk about other things. Anybody can ask for directions, it is a relaxed moment and a moment that has REASON for approaching.
Approaching like this comfortably takes a man from one state, which is fear, to the next, which is calm. Yet, the practicing becomes a problem if a man is also nervous to approach women for directions. Logic then states that to to alter this state of stagnation, he does well to pace himself. Being that pace indicate to rhythm and numbers, counting steps or breath as he approaches will put him in a steady pace and maintain it.
One…Two…Three…Four…by counting steadily and focusing on the count, the man automatically paces himself. Note the word automatic, for it emphasises that a man doesn’t have to be conscious to pace himself. The more a man paces himself, the more he shows himself as being self-controlled. This will be discovered through practice.
If a man is thinking about what to say before or during an approach, which is a logical process, it is evident that he isn’t focused on the counting or his breathing. The logic here is that the only thought should be numbers, therefore pace, and if done right, it will seem as if he is cruising and smooth in his movements.
Before thinking that a man is pretending to be confident and having it altogether by counting his breath or his steps. He isn’t! Keeping pace means he is dealing with his nervousness, it doesn’t mean that he is faking it until he makes it. Counting or reducing tension, is not a method of faking, that would be logically incorrect, but a method to stimulate calmness.
Man must always stay aware that approaching a woman, is approaching a stranger and that he is a stranger to her. So, logic shows that to turn a stranger to a friend, a man has to be FRIENDLY. By this logic, man should already know that being friendly doesn’t mean thinking about sex or a relationship when he approaches, it doesn’t mean creating a mission to get her, but it means to make contact. Being friendly can help a man keep pace and ultimately maintain self-control.
Further logic states that if there was a mission, it is to turn the stranger into a friend. By aiming to be a friend first, the probability of a man getting with the woman increases. A lot of men’s concern is that if they are friendly, they will be friend zoned. Such is the dread of this zone that it has men acting thuggish, talking anyhow, and neglecting manners. But logic states that if a woman was to approach them in a ‘crazy’ manner, her chances decreases and so by this logic, his chances decreases if he approaches in a ‘crazy’ manner.
A man has a bigger chance of getting with a woman when the structure is:
STRANGER to-FRIEND-to LOVER than
STRANGER to LOVER
being that familiarity is higher at the friend stage. This is further emphasised by the word girl-FRIEND which logically indicates to the need of securing a friendship. The word doesn’t say girl-LOVER but girl-FRIEND. The title friend seems necessary for familiarity and continuity. The label or title friend seems to be the conduit necessary for a man or anyone to become familiar. This is true for a boss or employee and in every walk of life.
The two structures seem to indicate that approaching a woman depends on speed and so a man tends to rush the process. But as logic would dictate, the approach isn’t dependent on speed but on pace. If logic is telling a man that a woman feels more at ease if she feels his friendliness then she is more at ease to accept him, but a man must accept that it can come with him being friendzoned. This is not to be dreaded!
The friendship zone provides the opportunity to be close to a woman and to learn about her without tension. The friendship is a logical strategy that women use, which indirectly gives a man the opportunity to logically navigate himself in the zone.
The fact is that a man who has been friend zoned can do everything with her feeling at ease, without second guessing himself, and without feeling pressure to lose her. How he behaves in this zone depends on whether he can transition to be a lover or someone just to keep around. Even if a woman decides that he is someone just to keep around, sexual attraction can increase depending on the man’s behaviour, and therefore processes like sex-buddy or friends with benefits occurs.
Even the word sex-BUDDY signifies to the necessity of friendship while the keyword in friends with benefits is friends. The behaviour of a man is logically covered in the books The Game is Chess Not Checkers and Respect Before Acceptance.
More and more logic refers to friendship as being a necessity throughout all interaction, from strangers to a relationship. As a lover, a man knows that a relationship solidifies more if he also exercises behaviours of friendship. A relationship benefits more if the couples are friends AND lovers as if these two pairs, these two ‘twins’, go hand in hand and are the major ingredient or pillars in upholding the relationship. Logic therefore emphasises that without the friendship part in a relationship, it is more than likely based on finances and sex.
The emotional aspect or benefit of a relationship is added when friendship is exercised. For why would a man (or woman) want to hurt their friend?
The opposite of a friend is not only a stranger but an enemy. So why would a man want a woman that he likes or loves as a stranger or enemy? He wouldn’t! It wouldn’t be logical to the approach or relationship.
Logic does not indicate that turning a stranger to a friend will be easy or that getting reciprocation from a woman will be easy, but that everything will be EASIER if friendship – the ‘conduit’ is used. A Brotherhood or sisterhood isn’t formed just by standing still or accepting strangers, but formed through friendships and mutual understanding.
This is logical!
Brotherhood Of The Game 