Dr Amos Wilson on a perspective regarding the black woman and man relationship.
When you hear the terms player and hoe, the first thing that usually comes to mind is a man being deceptive with women and a woman who is promiscuous. This perception is a problem due to the fact that from a provider perspective, which according to most cultures and agreements, is part of the attribute of a man by Nature first. The player-hoe dynamic is necessary to have a healthy relationship!
By now, some of you reading this would have frowned, got irritated, raised your eyebrow, or rolled their eyes stating that what has been written is a ridiculous attempt to justify a negative process. Yet this impulse to ridicule is based on the ingrained programming done by media and generally society not to perceive the player-hoe dynamic any other way but negative. With that said, the aim here is to influence you to have an open mind and understand a new perspective. The perspective is as follows.
A man is a payer, which is a term aligned with him being a provider. Though there is nothing wrong with a woman and man paying for each other or ultimately treating each other to benefit from each other’s company, it is man that is recognised as the payer by Nature first. Naturally, most boys and girls are taught this and so girls grow up adopting the notion that the hole between their legs has power and should only be used if a man pays. It does have power! But this shouldn’t negate that penis – the ‘third leg’ of a man has power too.
In summary, a man is a payer and a woman has a hole (a vagina) therefore representing a hole. The power of a man must be exercised to empower a woman (the hole) so she can perceive him as a worthy man to be with, ultimately a worthy leader while respect, sincerity, and adoration from a woman is stimulated. The way a payer (man) stimulates respect, sincerity, and adoration from a woman can be done by (l)ooking at her while (l)istening (fully paying attention), by making her (l)augh, by being (l)oving, or even by (l)usting ONLY after her.
These five l’s are positive and can be metaphorically perceived as continuously stimulating the l in her hole until she is willing to sleep with the man or get into a relationship with him, which is equivalent to sharing her hole with the payer (the man). The sharing with the payer results in the payer being a player therefore leaving the hole (woman) to be a hoe. In other words, when a hole (the vagina – woman) shares her hole with a payer (the man), the payer metaphorically receives a letter l through interaction while in essence she ‘loses’ an l and is therefore perceived as a hoe. [Follow the wordplay.]
When a relationship between a woman (hole) and a man (payer) is created, the player-hoe dynamic is created. This is true for all relationships. This means that a man is meant to be a player in a relationship, and a woman is meant to be a hoe. With the letter l shared and therefore common to the player and hoe, it can also be perceived as a pole. The insinuation is that a woman who stays hoeish to her man (the payer) keeps him a player.
By keeping a man a player, which is expressed and demonstrated according to his mindset, for the term player should be perceived as a player against the world, while a woman or a bunch of women motivate him to stay positive about it, encouraging him to win in life, hence revealing hoes to be cheerleaders to their players.
How a hoe (woman) cheers her man (the player) depends on what type of player he is and therefore depends on what type of payer he is. There are two types of payers hence players, one type of payer SPENDS to keep the company of a woman. He will lavish her continuously with money and time to keep her happy and comfortable. There is nothing wrong with making a hole (woman) feel happy and comfortable, but the spender has to be aware that indirectly, his continuously impulse to spend on a woman, can be perceived as attempts to BUY a woman’s affection in order to become a player and for her to be his hoe.
The spender can listen while looking at her, he can make her laugh, he can stay loving and lustful just for her, and ultimately court her well, therefore increasing his potential to getting laid and in a relationship with a woman if that’s what he wants. But nobody wants to feel bought or feel like they are in the presence of a con man, and so respect for the spender decreases and a hoe will usually get with the man (player) to use him while staying comfortable. This type of player – the spender usually stimulates the hoe to be a golddigger and she will ‘dig’ for all the gold she thinks he’s worth and she deserves.
So though the spender is a player, he is not well respected and the focus of his hoe cheerleading him on, is done so that he can keep spending. Her cheerleading is a method of digging for ‘gold’ (money – materialism). A woman would have accepted such a man, after all he does provide financial security, but she doesn’t respect him or fully respect him and this is readily seen while the spender, in an attempt to solve this issue that he will feel, in an attempt to feel like a genuine wanted player in the presence of his hoe, spends more money translated to continually attempting to buy all her affection and her love.
Sadly, his spending is motivated by fear and this fear makes him throw caution to the wing to try and keep his hoe happy while fearing he’ll lose her. Sadly, the fear is understandable and some would say justified, being that the woman is likely to leave him when there is no more ‘gold’ to dig. For she was not fully emotionally invested in a man whose only solution has been to try and ‘buy’ her emotions to stay with him. The hoe is likely to cheat on this type of player that is recognised as a spender due to low respect for him and his irritating behaviour and audacity to think money is the only substance to get and keep a woman’s love.
Sure he can get her and keep her in body but not her mind. She is likely to cheat on this player with a payer that INVESTS in money and time. The investor (man) that stimulates her to be his hoe therefore her player, is a man that she will highly respect and hold tight to. His very fragrance and demeanour screams profit, which is the aim of all investments. Spending without investing tends towards bankruptcy. So two types of players are revealed, which are the spender and the investor.
The player that is an investor, meaning not trying to buy a woman’s affection and not continuously spending on a woman for no reason, will be continuously cheered on to invest and profit. With such a man, a hoe is likely going to be as hoeish as she can be to keep him happy. She does this not to use him, for he is not like the spender, and this is registered psychologically as well as consciously hence she is not feeling bought, but to solidify what they have because she subconsciously knows that their union is an investment. Though golddigging behaviours could be none existence with this type of dynamic, it is fair to say that there can be a little display of it shown. For if you have or feel abundance, the impulse to lavish sometimes and throw caution to the wind can occur.
Even if a hoe (woman) does turn full golddigger with a player that is an investor, if the looks and listening towards her stops, if he stops trying to make her laugh or stops his love and lust after her, she will realise she has done too much, and will probably feel that she is about to be replaced or has been. Her behaviour is not beneficial for leading to profit and so she starts revealing herself as a negative investment. A hoe not worthy of investing into can disguise herself as a good investment until she is revealed. A payer must be careful.
Yet due to investing time with a hole (a woman), the payer would have or should have detected a woman’s ‘bad’ behaviours that will not lead to profit. Yet life can be unpredictable. A hoe can change just like a player can change. A hoe that was a great investment who kept her player (man) a powerful player can change to a hoe that just wants to use him showing lack of respect, and a player that was once a spender can turn into an investor.
It is important to understand that spending isn’t wrong. But to have a spending mentality first is a detriment to lifestyle and preparing for the future. Investing mentality solves this! So by default investing is the most desirable in life as well as with women. Hoes will uplift this player (the investor) as much as they can. Even willing to get into polygamy, which translates to more hoes sharing with a payer, so that her player (the investor) can become a stronger player.
Both players can (l)ift to gain muscles while doing other forms of exercises. Healthy looking players also keep hoes in their life, whether they are there with little to no respect or full respect. The emphasis is that a payer or player must ALWAYS do his part to stay a player therefore keeping woman a hoe. Players, like hoes, know this. The hoe is willing to stay as hoeish as she can to keep him the payer a player whether she is there to use him or not, whether her respect is low or not.
The player-hoe dynamic only continues when both do their part. This is the natural dynamic of all relationships. The player-hoe dynamic occurs when the woman and man get into a relationship whether they decide doing a ceremony to change the title relationship into a title marriage; which is the continuation of the relationship. The player-hoe dynamic is occurring throughout. How strongly the hoe plays her part depends on respect. A player that is an investor may not have a car or big house, but with an investing mentality he displays and demonstrates POTENTIAL of great materialism which translates to him being an AMBIGIOUS payer (man).
Ambition in getting a hole (represented by woman) is ingrained in both payers, but naturally one is more effective than the other. The player that is an investor yields more or absolute respect. This yielding is demonstrated by the hoe (woman) for her player (man) to wield power, and translates to submission. Depending on respect for a player, yielding or submitting by a hoe will be done differently. The spender and investor (l)ook and (l)isten, (l)augh, (l)ove, and (l)ust to stimulate her hole (by stimulating the l in hole) so that she can share her hole to become a hoe for him to enjoy (l)ife with him.
Without respect for a player, a hoe cannot yield or fully yield. She can pretend to yield so that her player continues doing his part, but not fully yield. So we can predict that a lot of arguments usually occurs with a player that spends while fewer arguments occur with a player that invests. If a hoe does have disagreements with her investor, the hoe most likely wants it to end quickly. She perceives her player as a valuable man especially with his continuous display of ambition, so there is an impulse to want everything to be right again. Her fear of losing him is a reminder that she can only lose him if she misbehaves. Her loss or no loss is dependent on her.
Even if she distance herself from her player out of annoyance, she is not disconnected. She can still demonstrate that she is the hoe for him during her times of disappointments. The hoe with a spender will not and cannot fully yield or submit to her player. This is a problem. This is not to say that players do not have to yield or submit either, for there is a balance in life, and doing so strengthens cooperation and eliminates unfairness, but it is to say that the player has his role and the hoe has her role in submission.
If submitting to her jeopardises his role, he risks losing respect. He risks being perceived as a hoe (woman) himself therefore making her lose sight of a player, which is what she wants. This is true for a hoe submitting as well. She is not a player and a player is not a hoe and if one acts like the other then there is an imbalance. The dynamic is a SHARING structure not an exchange. The player and hoe must both do their parts to BALANCE out the relationship – the dynamic.
The purpose for yielding or submitting to a hoe is therefore aimed at making sharing life with her easier, and not making her feel oppressed. An oppressed hoe will weaken a player! He will not feel any adoration or cheering that justifies him as a player, whether he is a spender or investor. A payer is a player naturally through sharing but this feeling can be amplified by being fully certified by his hoe (his cheerleader) through her behaviours. All players will feel this!
The purpose of a player’s hoe submitting and cheerleading him on, is for him to WIN. As a cheerleader, whether her agenda is to use the man or not, she expresses that they are a TEAM. A strong team dynamic will be perceived more with the player that invests money and time with his hoe, which translates into being everything she needs at a particular time and not trying to buy and keep her affection. The buying a hoe’s affection mentality is when the natural term hoe is related to prostitution and found in the term whore, due to the hoe yielding so that he can wield plays, strategies, blueprints much easier.
The player that invests wields to empower his hoe for in essence she is a player too, by being a team, but she is on the side-line as a cheerleader. With empowerment given, the hoe doesn’t mind absolutely yielding (or submitting) for she knows that there is profit from doing so and not oppression. This type of player makes her feel no fears or worries to do so. A player that spends thinking that materialism is the solution to keeping his hoe happy, though he can empower her, still creates doubt and worry. For deep down his hoe knows that spending is not investing and soon he may have nothing to use to spend. This of course can make him lose respect and to yield or submit to such a man is difficult.
The strength of a player-hoe dynamic depends on EMOTIONAL STABILITY. In entering a dynamic with a woman (representing a hole), the payer should be aware that women are emotionally expressive by Nature first and men (representing payers) are logically expressive by Nature first. First is the keyword here being that women exercise logic too and men exercise emotions too, for ultimately they are both Human Beings. But women naturally express emotions more than men first while men naturally demonstrate logic by Nature first more than women.
In knowing this, a payer who can control his emotions is a TRUE player. This emotionally stable player is one that will definitely maintain the stability of his hoe (woman) being that she doesn’t have to guess whether he is going to overreact easily. She is confident and calm enough to approach him and encourage (cheer) him, she gets to live with him without tension. Tension can stagnate her cheering and her happiness, and how can a hoe truly cheer when she’s scared? Even if her emotionally stable player sometimes shows an emotional outburst, to his hoe it is just a reminder that he is still a Human Being and not a robot.
Emotional stability is a powerful state to be in, which is why the strongest pimps, and the pimps with the most hoes are the ones that can control their emotions the best. A payer that spends doing everything to pamper a hole (represented by a woman) can be perceived as a simp (someone that does anything a woman says) or a trick (someone that just uses money to get women). Although he is a player by default if a hoe stays with him, such a player can be perceived as a player simp or a player trick, which alludes to a type of player that is likely to create a golddigging hoe.
By replacing the letter s in simp with p, which can be perceived as standing for power, we get pimp. A man can be a player pimp if he gains and maintain power. Power can be gained through calmness and so players that display emotional stability are truly adored. For how can a hoe think it is easy to downtrodden this player when he isn’t easily fazed by the world? Emotional stability with ambition displays perseverance and one who perseveres is easy to admire.
Although a player that is an investor has his hoe’s attention, if he doesn’t have emotional stability, the vision of seeing him as an investor will blur. The internal struggle of staying with her player though he has potential and invests in her will occur. Emotional stability maintains power no matter how rocky life gets. This, a hoe will admire while feeling empowered. For her to invite more hoes to the dynamic (meaning polygamy) would be to increase a player’s power. For there is power in sisterhood, and a player who has many hoes functioning as one HOE (polygamy) does well to promote sisterhood within the player-hoe dynamic.
For no hoe to feel isolated or like their cheerleading is going unnoticed, the player must address them one to one; he MUST do his part! Let’s say he has five hoes (five wives). He must make sure the dynamic is seen as:
Player with Hoe 1
Player with Hoe 2
Player with Hoe 3
Player with Hoe 4
Player with Hoe 5,
as well as making them aware that collectively they are one HOE. This awareness or realisation is beneficial for each hoe and can influence each hoe to work together to cheerlead their player. In essence the sisterhood that they form is a cheerleading squad. They are all inclusive in the team. It is from this perspective that a player is negatively perceived as a pimp by people from outside looking in. Yet, this dynamic works like a Lion with his Pride. They all in essence help each other to succeed, to eat, and have a feeling of belonging.
For a player to acknowledge and show appreciation to his hoe or hoes for keeping him a player through the sharing of lives, and while making them see that they are one HOE collectively, he maintains the player-hoe dynamic balance. With emotional stability, he can be able to perceive quickly when imbalance is likely to occur or has occurred. Every man with many wives does himself a great service when he is cool, calm, and collected; which is basically like saying calm three times. So is therefore a statement that emphasises on the importance of being calm.
A player who is a spender and have many hoes, it is highly likely going to be difficult to keep the balance for long periods no matter how effective he is at controlling his emotions. He has to earn the respect or increase his respect from all his hoes (wives) first before they fully take him seriously and put aside the notion of just using him. This emphasises on the mantra that respect comes before acceptance.
For the player to increase in respect, the man has to become an investor. The term increase is used due to the fact that spending on a woman – on a hoe can give him some respect being that he shows that he can provide, but a spender does well to change his perspective and his lifestyle and tend toward PROFIT not bankruptcy.
In making this change, his hoe might leave him especially if all she wanted was to be pampered and lavished over, but this would be difficult for her. Her difficulty lies in having a change in perception towards her changed player, who is now an investor. As an investor, a player can stimulate a change in a hoe. Just like it was his fault that he created a golddigger it would be his fault, his undoing, to now create a change in the golddigger when he changes. The golddigger changes more towards support instead of what she can gain.
This ability of a hoe to change according to her perception of a man, reveals a payer or player (man) to be a leader by Nature first thereby revealing a hoe to be a follower by Nature first, but ultimately reveals hoes (women) as manager, a nurturer by Nature first. This is not to say that a man cannot nurture or that a woman cannot lead, but by Nature first, by the first instinct, this is how it is.
So the hoe (the woman) through her cheerleading nurtures and manages the home to keep the payer a player (man). Again, the dynamic, the balance, depends on the player and hoe doing their parts – fulfilling their roles.
As a player the extension of his play with his hoe, who is doing everything she can to keep him a player also by keeping herself a hoe, that is if she has high respect for him, should be expressed and seen as playfulness. This is not to say that a player shouldn’t be serious in winning but it is an emphasis that playing to win can also be fun and should be fun. Fun can come from trying to make her (l)augh, thereby expressing her player as being funny. Playfulness removes tension and a hoe that isn’t tense can navigate or fulfil her roles easier than one who is.
Playfulness does not mean that the player becomes a clown and overly does it, it means showing his hoe that life with him is fun and adventurous as part of being profitable. If he hasn’t made it big yet in terms of profit, when he does, for he is an investor, the fun, their play, will only be perceived as getting bigger. Her cheers will be the loudest. She will be having so much fun with her man and this fun can go on in the bedroom through role playing and willingness to please her man in various ways. Her hoeishness for her investor is to keep the payer a player and in doing so to keep the playfulness or fun going.
As the player listens, love, and lust for his hoe through playfulness, he is likely to realise the effect of S.E.E more and more, thereby reminded to keep himself a player by investing in her. S.E.E stands for (S)mile, (E)ye Contact (E)xcitement. A smile can relax his hoe, making her less tense if she was, and making him approachable. Eye contact is associated with him (l)ooking at her as he (l)istens while excitement or making her excited has a liberating effect on women that is remarkable to perceive.
The hoe will recognise her player as the leader, this is what she wants, to make him HEAD so they can get AHEAD and profit. For a player that spends this will be difficult. Due to lack of respect his hoe is likely going to contend with him sometimes in leading. Sad as it may be, she is subconsciously telling her player that he cannot just buy her into submission or into respecting him, he has to earn it. The spend, spend, spend mentality has to stop!
A hoe with a player that’s a spender wants her player to be HEAD for she does not want to take on two roles (his and hers) though she may just be using the man for his finances. These hoes usually refuse to yield completely to their player and therefore has an inner struggle to stay or to go. This would have been the player’s (the spender) fault. A hoe (woman) wants to maintain being the HEART of their dynamic, which is aligned with multitasking – nurturing and managing.
One of the reasons for a hoe to yield (submit) to her player (man) is for him to stay the HEAD and for her to stay the HEART of the dynamic. This is a reason too for a player yielding to his hoe. There is balance in this. The HEAD (man) is not the HEART (woman) and HEART is not the HEAD. Head and Heart can only function effectively and in synchronicity and properly when there is COMMUNICATION. This is true on the inside of the body as well as on the outside (the player-hoe dynamic).
Communication with playfulness is part of investing and though a spender can do this, it can easily be perceived as a tactic to buy a hoe being that this is how he started. He has to changed his hoe perception first by rebranding himself. Communication is indeed key being that a hoe cannot feel left out or isolated, it will weaken the bond. Her willingness to share will diminish and she wouldn’t mind advertising (dressing up – campaigning) for another payer to approach her. Every hoe (woman) seems to understand that men RESPOND to what they see by Nature first.
Secrets can do damage! If the player doesn’t want to reveal plays or strategies just yet, he has to be articulate. He must be great with his words cause like any player knows, she understands women (hoes) RESPOND to what they hear by Nature first. The player must be music, he must be a lyricist. Pimps are most effective at this adding rhymes to their delivery.
The player-hoe dynamic is a balance between the masculine and feminine. It is natural! It is a reminder of women and men having roles to fulfil in their union – in their sharing. A hoe (woman) wants this therefore WANTS to be a hoe just like a payer (man) wants to be a player while being with her. Sharing is what keeps them together, they want this! So the dynamic is a display of masculinity and femininity and both are two different demonstration of energy. This is why the player-hoe dynamic can exist in homosexual relationships. There must always be a masculine and feminine display! Nature expresses this throughout hence the Tao symbol which is also expressed as Yin (feminine) Yang (masculine) symbol, is emphasised.
The ceremony called marriage can be perceived as a player-hoe dynamic being legalised therefore adding penalties to the union should it separate. For a golddigger this is great. If she leaves her player (the spender) she still gets ‘gold’ (still gets paid). So two types of ceremonies called marriage occurs that people – friends, families, and strangers witness, and that is the player-hoe dynamic based on spending and the player-hoe dynamic based on investing.
The player-hoe dynamic that is based on investing usually doesn’t need grand exposure to testify to their union. By saving money, they know it can be invested, and by investing they know they are tending towards profit, though investments have an up and down motion. But in an attempt to testify to his love, which isn’t needed, the spender – this form of player, will spend a lot on a ceremony though forever after is not guaranteed, even though he may have perceived red flags of disrespect and golddigging, to make (buy) the woman happy. But even the player that invests can fall victim to this due to family pressure.
The more a spender spends senselessly, the more his hoe feels justify in her means to remind him that he is a provider and should be spending, spending. He has successfully made it okay for her to be a golddigger, and of course she follows the leader’s lead. Just by showing off that he can provide he is used by woman for the financial security that she’s always wanted, and the words “I do” or “I will” can come out of her so fast that it can be mistaken for true love.
Yet like with everything in life, there is acceptance to the rule. A hoe with a player that’s a spender could genuinely love her player and cheerlead him on strongly without the desire to use him. All she ever wanted was financial security and here is a payer (man) that isn’t stingy with money doing it. Such a hoe has no qualms in making this payer (a spender) a player. She gets what she wants and he gets what she wants. We can debate that these women have a subconscious issue of feeling like a man can buy her, but we would have to stay aware that law of attraction does work. Some holes (women) do want payers (spenders) that they can be hoes to.
It is this recognition that associates hoes (women) with money being that money does stimulate financial security. But hoes that are with investors will most likely tell you that there is a vision that they are following even though their players are doing well career wise. If they are not they are doing well in demonstrating determination and perseverance. A vision is what leaders cast and such a vision of success – of profit is believable by a player that is an investor. His hoe will cheer and follow, managing and nurturing him to strengthen him every step of the way.
She too will play with him to ease burden and ultimately fulfil his sexual needs by being as hoeish as he needs her to be, and is within her comfort to be. The player that spends, spends, spends, soon realises that he hasn’t being treating his hoe like a (l)ady, which is to be treating her like she isn’t an investment but can be bought. In understanding this mistake, he understands that being a gentleman is not about being gentle or trying to court or entice the woman, but about CHARACTER. It is about himself and how he approaches her and treats her.
Nevertheless, a payer that invests creates or encourages a (l)ady or ‘(l)adylike’ behaviours therefore by default revealing him to be a gentleman should such term be used. The player-hoe dynamic is also one of gentleman-lady dynamic which can either be perceived as Investor-Lady dynamic or Spender-Golddiger dynamic.
Yet, life can be strange. Sometimes the payer that spends could end up with a woman that influences him to be a payer that invests thereby helping him, cheerleading him, to be a strong player that tends towards profit. It is also possible that a payer that invests will sometimes end up with a woman that influences him to be a payer that spends most likely losing respect. Beauty has a big effect towards change.
Holes (women) that sleep around therefore becoming hoes on and off to different payers are being promiscuous. These hoes are not settled to one payer and therefore the definition of a hoe refers to an unsettled -promiscuous hole (vagina -woman), which is deemed negative mostly by men. As she sleeps with different payers, being promiscuous, thereby creating players on and off, the term player because synonymous with an unsettled hoe therefore deemed negative mostly by women.
Some player-hoe dynamics are abusive, some are pleasant, there are various types. But the dynamic should be perceived this way. For it helps in accepting the different roles of women and men. It is important to understand that when a woman pays, no matter how much, she is ultimately not the payer, therefore her payments can be translated as ‘giving the man the money’. The hoe ‘giving’ her player the money gives the perception of the man being a pimp. No matter how much a hole (woman) pays, she is still the one with the hole. It is only through sharing with a man that the player-hoe dynamic is revealed.
Note: – Some women think they can get any man that they want.
– Women can get a Giggolo (sort of a male prostitute) to satisfy their ‘needs’.
– Women will have a different agenda for wanting to videotape sex.
– Most women are self centred.
– There a down low homosexuals out there. Some of them are married.
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